musings

years ago i decided i wanted to work on my writing skills so i thought i would write something, anything, on the computer each day. i made it two days.

i had totally forgotten about these two "musings" until a couple of weeks ago when i stumbled over them while organizing my files. yes, one must organized their digital files lest they become untidy.

i wish i would have written more.

here is one as it was written about three years ago:

I find it interesting that I can feel so differently about mothering from day to day, or even hour by hour. One moment it is funny and I watch in amusement as my fourteen-month-old runs randomly around the room, into the couch and consequently onto the floor. Other moments I feel like I’m supervising an entire day care on my own, my two children seeming like twenty. And then there are the days like today when I feel like, rather than rearing two children, I am being attacked by them.

Some days I never quite catch up to time. I feel like I’m always behind. Those are the days the kids like to fight. A 3-and-a-half year old and 14-month old manage to find a lot to disagree about. They look to me as a moderator but, truthfully, I haven’t got the slightest idea what’s going on. Sometimes I just ignore them and pretend I didn’t hear anything.

Today was like this: the 3-year-old is sick with a slight fever and throws-up occasionally but for some reason she doesn’t feel sick,

at this point there is a big empty space. apparently i never finished recording the story. i remember there were a lot of intense moments with the sick child but i have no idea now what they were. but the story goes on:

Stuck with nasty cold I wasn’t feeling too good myself. My head ached and my body ached, particularly my legs. A hot bath sounded heavenly, but being too tired to actually take off my clothes and lay in the tub, not to mention the tub is too small to lay in comfortably, I decided to just push up my pants legs and soak my legs and feet in the running water. Sounds nice enough, doesn’t it? Of course, this is done with two kids busily working in the bathroom, our one, oh, so small bathroom, because, heaven forbid, they do something in a room I’m not in. And, of course, they must fight over who has the right to touch the bathroom door. I sit there, on the edge of the tub, trying to focus on the warm water running over my aching legs, leaning my head against the tub surround, eyes closed, in attempt to remain sane. The one-year-old sees mommy is taking a bath and being the helpful son he is, brings me toys to play with.

“No thank you, buddy,” I mumble.

He throws the boat into the water.

“No thank you, buddy, I don’t need toys”

He throws in the fishy.

“Buddy, no.”

He throws in the thing-a-ma-bobby that looks a fish stuck in a bubble and is really fun to play with in the bath, but I don’t want it.

I decide at this point to just shut my eyes and ignore it. Maybe it’ll go away. Two minutes later I open my eyes to see every bath toy we own floating around my feet as well as a three foot long section of toilet paper. And the buddy is in the process of adding the library book. Oh, if only I can hang on until my husband comes home; should be any minute now. He will comfort me. He will give me relief. The two kids start fighting about the door again and my patience is gone. I yell at the older kid to go play in her room - the younger won’t understand a thing I say if I tell him to do that so I let him stay. I close my eyes and lean my head against the wall again. Hmmm, it’s finally quiet . . . a little too quiet come to think of it. Where’s the little one? I turn around to see him picking the remains of the toilet paper off the toilet paper roll and put them in his mouth. Nice, he’s eating toilet paper. I sigh as a finally have to crank up the hot water and turn the cold water completely off. When is my husband going to be home? Finally the water runs cold. The one-year-old waddles into the 3-year-old’s room. A fight ensues. I yell at them to leave each other alone. The one-year-old wanders into his own room. Finally quiet. Then I hear the pounding of my husband coming up the stairs. He’s home! He comes into the bathroom to see me sitting on the edge of the tub, my feet in a few inches of water with a bunch of toys and some toilet paper. My head is uncomfortably leaning against the cold shower surround and there's a library book in my lap. My eyes are closed.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” he says.

reading this makes me regret not keeping a better journal. i used to be a very faithful journal writer but as i became busy with mothering i wrote less and less. so many forgotten moments! fun times, hard times, lessons learned never to be remembered.

i post this to encourage all to keep a good journal. not only will your posterity thank you, but you may thank yourself someday.

good-bye snow

it was fun while it lasted. our last hurrah:

the snow fort is gone. the snow slide that melted into it's place is gone. the snowman is gone.

but now there are bulbs blooming.

snow fort pictures

you've seen the video, now here are the pictures. i wanted ethan to do the blogging for this post but the poor guy is so busy with work and school that i guess i'll have to do.

ethan explained the construction of the snow fort fairly well in the video so i will just add captions to the pictures.

elise and joseph (ethan's siblings) helped quite a bit.

tiny access tunnel.

huge pile.

"look, ma, we can stand up inside!"

hudson inside the cavern at the entrance tunnel.

big dude and little dude. they love their fort.

ethan demonstrates how large the cavern is by comfortably laying down in it.

two kids laying on the floor.

maria finding tricks to do in true nuttall fashion.

kiddos in the cave. it took some coaxing by ethan to get libby to crawl through that ridiculously small tunnel.

the ridiculously small tunnel. hudson on his way out.

libby on her way out.

maria on her way out.

ethan on his way out.

yes, small tunnel. takes some effort to get the big kids through.

all together.

it's become something of a tradition for ethan and his brother (and elise now too) to build a big snow cave each winter. i can remember the first winter they did it. it was the first year ethan and i were married. i had been working all evening and ethan and joseph came to pick me up (ethan and i had one car). they were as excited as two little boys to show me what they'd been working on while i was away. we drove to campus and walked out onto the quad. there, in the middle of the quad, ethan and joseph had basically created an igloo.

now, years later, the snow caves are still going strong, and it seems they are getting better every year.

THE snow fort

there are actually three total videos. go to our youtube channel to see the other two.

sunday best

this post is mainly for the kids' grandma and grandpa nuttall who gave the kids sunday close for christmas. i wanted grandma and grandpa to see how nice all they look in their new clothes.

hudson looks so handsome in his sweater and bow tie. i wish i had ironed his shirt before i took the picture, but you get the idea.

libby loves her pretty dress.

maria is actually wearing the black skirt you gave her but i didn't get a good picture of it so i guess you'll have to just use your imagination - sorry! but she does love it and wears it often.

no sweater and bow tie this day but it is the same shirt, ironed this time!

libby had to get in on the hudson pictures.

libby had to make a few faces for the camera.

not done yet.

and maria had to get in on the libby pictures.

and let's not forget our best sunday dresser! all ready for church!

finally, libby's birthday

it's been over three weeks since libby's birthday, but finally her are the pictures to prove she made it two whole years! she had a very good birthday.

she got a dollhouse for her birthday.

it came with two little dolls, perfect for her little hands.

brother and sister love to play with it too.

she was very pleased to have her very own dollhouse.

she loved her birthday cake.

and ice cream.

when we first set the cake in front of her she said, "oooh, yummy-tastey!"

when i ask her how old she is she rarely says "two". usually it's "ten" or "fibe" or something else.

libby

yup, libby turned two over a week ago. i am not ready to post her birthday pictures - been feeling lazy lately. but i don't want you to feel too left out so here are some libby pics to get you by.